Wednesday, 26 December 2018

Please, Come Back


I couldn’t forever pretend that I’m okay without your presence in my life. This feeling, whether true or not, is too real to be wrong.

You have bewitched me body and soul, and then you hafta know that I could do everything to make you fall for me again.

It’s really out of my mind. No matter how many times I deny the feeling, I always fall for you again and again. It’s like I’m under your spell, and your effect is unbelievably huge on me.

So stop being cold – just stop that. You have no idea of what you’ve done to me. You’ve touched the deepest part of my heart, and then you leave just like that…damn, it feels so fucking hurt.

I have no clue why is this happening to me. The thing is I want you to come back. So please, come back.


Writer: Lista R
Illustration: Pinterest

Friday, 21 December 2018

The Way You Smoke Your Cigarette


I used to hate cigarette, but you make me feel like I never did – The way you smoke, baby, it's so cool. Thus one who stares could then be just sinking and die.

And now, look at you! Standing on the corner with that blue denim covering your shirt and sharp eyes you possess, you move your long legs toward my bench and say, "I can't promise you to stop smoking today, but I promise I'll change."

And then, you promptly sit beside me, starting to enjoy your hot black coffee – with style.

Babe, I don't ask you anything. You're perfect.

Writer: Lista R
Image Source: Pinterest

Thursday, 20 December 2018

The Absence of Love

Illustration by @oztheartist

As if I knew love by far,
I said that I yearned for love by hard.
Monotonous attacked my heart,
Everything came to be just so flat.
A bit impetus had no part,
Unlike someone who is so smart,
What kind of pabulum I must have had?

Slow but sure has ruined it all
My standpoint on life;
My perspective of myself;
My way of thinking of love itself.

I said that I yearned for love by hard,
As if I knew love by far.
Thereupon, I asked myself under one assumption,
“Is it true that I yearned for such strong emotion?”—

“…Or is it merely just its affection?”


Writer: Lista R
Illustrator: Ozzy (@oztheartist)

Monday, 17 December 2018

The Chemistry between Us

Illustration by Ameya

We used to spend the night until 4 AM. The stories that we told to each other; the silliness and the happiness we shared – engraving the smile on our lips and the laugh on our face. Sometimes we just enjoyed the silence, which I was pretty sure the murmur in our heart and the thought in our mind wondering about what’s next going on?

Even when our sleepy head seduced us to leave – toward the dreaming universe which I hoped consisted of you and me, our eyes couldn’t lie and in stillness, we said: I still want to be with you, but I’m too shy to say it to you. Please stay.

Then, we continued with an indistinct conversation or some hilarious games we played it fun. Maybe it’s a waste of time, but we forgot about the time. As every moment we’re together, everything felt so damn fine, and it’s just hard to say goodbye although it only applied up to the next day.

Sometimes I spotted the same eyes on you when we wanted to point everything out. Yet honey, after all – I guessed it didn’t matter anymore. As deep down, we’ve already known. Even if it’s never spoken, what’s the point of words when our eyes have shown it all?

-The Chemistry between Us
by Lista R

Monday, 10 December 2018

A Year of A Rollercoaster

Illustration by Ross Murray

It’s been a year of a rollercoaster. A year that not only full of hopes and happiness but also full of pain and disappointments. Small victories and heartbreaks, laughter and tears – some of them made me laugh on a sunny day and cry in the middle of the night. No matter how and no matter what, they left me memories and life lessons that have sparked color into my stories. And here are the colors:
  1. Unexpected things can be happening one millisecond later.
  2. Never love your company, just love your job.
  3. Finish your project in one quarter of the year or maybe two.  
  4. Never be infatuated in the age of 20s.
  5. Love, at first sight, is a big no-no.
  6. People easily come and go.
  7. It’s hard to find a new home and a new family today.
  8. Never believe in your coworkers, just trust them.
  9. People forget when you are no longer in their socket or pocket.
  10. No deep conversation with strangers.
  11. Never share stories to even your closest friends about uncertain things.
  12. Use your logic first, but never be an asshole.
  13. Heartbreak is a fuel for a more respected love lesson.
  14. We are all fool in love.
  15. Karma does exist.
  16. Mr. Clean is not that clean.
  17. Don’t expect.
  18. Don’t expect.
  19. Don’t expect.
  20. Life is hard, but the show must go on.
A year of a rollercoaster had given me scenes where I flew so high and then I suddenly fell the next day. Indeed, it’s mostly dark – that left me scars, shocks, and pains. Some of them changed my perspective, some of them improvised my idealism. They broke my heart and my trust in people and in love, but they’re never strong enough to kill me. For I’ve been used to pain and pain is my friend.  

“I may cry, but my tears will dry;
I may drown, but still, I try to dive,
And I will ride til’ I arrive.”

Thanks, 2018.
Looking forward to hearing from 2019.

Dearest,
LR

Friday, 7 December 2018

Just Another Distraction



I was waiting for your name popping up on my screen
Yet they didn’t appear or did you just really disappear?

It had been more than 24-hours,
and it remained the same until tomorrow.
I guessed that we would be in a long haul.
Just like you said on the other call.

Ironically, it turned out to be wrong –
Baby, you’ve broken it all.
Yet, what could I’ve said?
You’ve just made yourself as another distraction.

Now, there’s nothing but thank you for the lesson.

Writer: Lista R
Image Source: Pinterest

Wednesday, 28 November 2018

A Praise for The Night

Image Source: Pinterest

I overly relish in the tranquility of the night. Thus, I could be just strolling around… alone. As I praise the seclusion, the solemn, and the coffee I savor while listening to the Jazz music that’s currently being on – I’m excessively fond of them. 

-Lista R

Monday, 26 November 2018

Remember Not To Forget

Do you remember, 
To whose shoulder you cry every time you want to relieve your pain?
Do you remember, 
Who holds your hand every time the wind is blowing to make you fall?
Do you remember,
Who never stop cheering you up to finish the line?
Do you remember, 
Who always be there saying, “Everything’s gonna be fine?”

Still you remember all the remembrances – up and down; the laugh and the frown?
Will you always remember everything that left behind?



Writer: Lista R
Original Image: Unsplash

Sunday, 12 August 2018

Creativity is Just Connecting Things


Every time I arrive at my office, I pass through many glassed-wall rooms which covered with some kinds of inspirational quotes. The company where I work is indeed a creative company, so the interior designs are made as a creative space with many captivating artsy visuals - illustrations, posters, typographies. Every room is separated by glassed-walls whereupon it is eye-catchy quotes and sayings formed in a simple, yet appealing typography. The quote which always catches my eyes said by one of the most genius persons I've ever known, Steve Jobs: "Creativity is just connecting things" displayed clearly on a blue layer clung to the glassed-wall surface, making the space called the blue room. I didn’t find it interesting in the first place up to one day I couldn’t bear it and decided to contemplate the saying. With a long warped line that connected the first word and the last word, I wondered:

Is it really?

As writing is one of my daily's jobs, I know that most of the time creativity must play the big part. I write for my company, I need to mix up my ideas with particular requests and follow some given instructions. At other times, I find it difficult to blend all those things to be a ‘perfect’ writing. There’s no complain though, and I still have my position, but I feel my writing is so stiff and unnatural. Either it is just my feeling or maybe it’s because I never used to combine my original ideas with other things professionally, as a graduate of English literature and the one who loves writing, things should be much easier, right?

Creativity is just connecting things.

I've been thinking about the real meaning of the saying for weeks especially since it always reminds me of my ‘abandoned’ book as well. It’s been being scheduled to finish in March this year, my book has committed a thousand time revisions until I have no idea what was wrong again with it. I knew that day I just needed some more time to get away from it, to escape from my blocks, and found a new activity to do. Shortly, I got my first full-time job which is my job right now, it has been nearly five months, I haven’t even touched my book again. And that quote in my office, it has such power that keeps cheering me up to continue the work I have begun.

A modern-design pantry perched next to the blue room. I always stop by the pantry just to take some kitchen stuff, mostly for a morning or lunch coffee. While waiting for the electric kettle heats the water, I usually sit on the dining chair or simply just stand still while looking at the same quotes: Creativity is just connecting things. For some time, I doubt that creativity is just connecting things. I think it should be more than that, but I don’t find what is more. What is more than just connecting things to be creative?

One fine afternoon, when I made my second round of black coffee in the day, I saw the quote again, this time it just felt so immersive. I did truly want to know whether it’s true or not – I ought to find the meaning. I mused on the thought while seeking for it.

Creativity is just connecting things.
Creativity is just connecting things.
Creativity is just connecting things.
…………………………………….
…………………………………….

And so on………………………...
Until a single idea came up, and,

Of course,
It’s absolutely just connecting things!

Creativity links one thing to another. It connects things to create something new. You just don’t need to think much. Why I made it so difficult before? Just because creativity represents something different, and even sometimes it looks complicated, doesn’t mean it makes up from complexity. We just simply need to connect things. It may break the rules, but at the same time, it creates harmony which put together meaning and beauty.

Once I thought that in a bid to create something new, something which consists of creativity needs an extra struggle. Perhaps it’s because creativity sounds great, it looks so cool. The reality is we are only demanded to think beyond the rules, beyond the limitations. It may be hard to commit to creativity when our mind is indoctrinated by the concept that things just must be right put on their place. That kind of notions has prevented us to think out of the box.

As for me, as writing is a part of my professional job and personal hobby, with the idea of creativity is just connecting things, I presume I should no more worry about my tune of writing as what I do is just to combine the idea and adjust it to what’s going to convey. I couldn’t compare my writing for a purpose of business and my writing in a motive of creating literary work because both have each own ‘connecting things’ and its own ‘holy grail.’ So does it work for any other artworks  creativity is just connecting things  easy peasy, like connecting things.

Writer: Lista R
Image Source: Pinterest

Sunday, 5 August 2018

Things Will Never Be The Same


I’ve known since that day
Things will never be the same.

No matter how we were,
No matter how I try to make us okay,

Things will not remain the same.

Everything now seems like a sham
As in the solemn of the night sky, we cry.
My heart is so tired, I don’t wanna pretend.
Thus hereby I rightfully convey:
By now our old story ends.

For here I cognize,
Things will never ever be the same.

Writer: Lista R
Image Source: Pinterest

Just Don't Expect

This is for the people who are disappointed by their expectation, who are disappointing for their inability from keeping away the feeling:


Just Don't Expect.


Art by @erosundtanatos

Some of our disappointments come from unfulfilled expectation, a hope which stays as solely hope. No realization from what we have imagined in mind— what it will have become.

Painful? Yes, it is. Pretty painful.

We have enough fallen to the same hole numerous times, inflicting sadness and disappointment which shouldn't be there, if only we learned.

It could be coming from anything, but the worst disappointment comes from our unrealized expectation from someone who we love the most. Yes—putting expectation to people is a bad investment at its lowest, but sometimes we just can't either bear the feeling or control the emotion. As human, we hope people to treat us the way we treat them, we even expect them to treat us better.

***

I myself had never learned until I was at the point where my disappointment was on the peak. Putting expectations, giving a thousand chances, doing it for a million times - I just felt so tired and weary of all. It took years for me to implement the conception that people are truly a terrible investment for fulfilling my expectations.

***

It may take a long time to realize that awful fact. It may be those—who we love, that constantly breaks our heart. It may let us suffering from sadness and we always end up in the same ending, make us look like a fool who keep dreaming about something which not so sure the reality is. We are the fool who's willingly dreaming, hoping, and expecting.

The questions are:

Why we keep doing all those things? When we know it's hurting.
Why we always wait until we really suffering? When we literally know how it's ending.

Perhaps, unlike Mia and Sebastian, we are just a fool, a fool who always expects from something we shouldn't. A fool who can't anticipate the expectations we always create. 



Then how do we escape?



Perhaps

The best answer is:
.......







Just don't expect.

-LR

Monday, 30 July 2018

Aksioma


Aku pergi ke jenggala di atas babut terbang, namun tak seperti milik Aladdin.
Keputusanku ini mungkin masih nisbi
Teruntuk divestasi memori tentang dua orang yang memungkiri untuk jatuh hati.
Ini bukan karena mereka tinggi hati.
Taksonomi tentang perasaan-perasaan
Menghindari disimilasi otak dan hati.
Harmoni tentang idealisme yang mungkin tak abid, tapi ada aksioma yang diteguhkan.
Aku mutlak ingin ke jenggala…
Tak ke pantai seperti yang ia agungkan.
Dislokasi memori ini memang butuh perjalanan.
Tak ada masygul yang dirasa
Hanya ketenangan…
Karena aku tahu aku berada dalam aksioma yang tepat.
Ya, memang ini elusif, namun inilah caraku menghapus stagnasi itu. 

***

Aku terkesan dengan apa yang sudah aku lakukan!
Seharusnya aku ke pantai, bukan ke jenggala.
Aksiomaku salah, betapa ironi!
Dan kini, hanya ada masygul yang nikmat untuk diratapi.

Writer: Lista R
Image Source: Pinterest

Sunday, 29 July 2018

Mr. Bonaparte


Hey you, Mr. Bonaparte!

Thou are smart
But is thy soul lionheart?
No matter what
We could be a counterpart, eh?
Seeing the big picture
Oh, I see we both are an achiever.
Put em’ on a Gantt Chart to look clever.
Now, thou wonder,
Is it a blooper?
No, mister, it’s a censure.

Then thou shalt know the answer—
I’m that girl of English Literature.
This post is pointless, but wait, is it really meaningless?
Here’s to be sure, there is’cute’ in ‘acuteness.’ 


Writer & Illustrator: 
Lista R

Saturday, 28 July 2018

Di Luar Logika


Aku ingin menulis sesuatu tentang hal diluar logika.
Katakan. Katakan.
Bahwa aku adalah sang bodoh sesungguhnya.
Bahwa suatu porsi terkadang mutlak tak dapat bersatu dengan porsi lainnya.
Hati.
Logika.
Aku jatuh hati sejatuh-jatuhnya.
Namun kujauh dengan logikaku sejauh-jauhnya.

Aku jatuh dan lalu tidak jatuh.
Melayang diantara dinding logika dan perasaan.

Apakah aku sekarang ini?

Mencintai dengan hati
Logika menyusut, memaksa untuk bangkit
Membuatku mengeras seperti karang
Namun ombak selalu berhasil membasahi karang.

Dan aku jatuh lagi dan lagi.
Di luar logika, terlarut ke dalam perasaan.
Dan aku jatuh lagi dan lagi
Menembus logika, menuju rasa abid tak berlogika.

Writer & Illustrator: 
Lista R

Sunday, 22 July 2018

Too Good To Be True




Remember sitting upon the beach’s bench that nightfall?

We are looking at those fishermen’s old boats adorned with white fluorescent lights—forming a line like the constellations.

It got us to listen to our nostalgic song that blended in wave’s vociferous sound.
Less talking, much sensing, and immersing
It felt so blissful, yet serene and peaceful.

Tell me,
Have you had the same dream as me?

To will have returned, to will have recalled the memory;
To will have relished the night, the love, and the future filled with euphoria!


Ah, it’s too good to be true!


Writer: Lista R

Saturday, 14 July 2018

Was She Wrong?


As if her friend, darkness had stayed with her for a very long time. She was invisible. People threw rock at her like she was not a human being. She did not understand why, all she knew was just: People could be so mean, even when you did nothing to them. Yet she chose to struggle over to suffer from the pain. Life was hard—there were some bastards and there was no lifeguard. She ought to be her own bodyguard until she saved from the drought, and walked to a route that brought her proud.

A little spotlight lightened the darkness that had haunted her for years. With her in the center, the ambiance changed significantly as if she was born to be seen. Praised and complimented frequently, this was a definite moment when a big smile covered her face frequently. Over victory and victory, she was the star without anxiety.

Forest Gump said that life was like a rollercoaster, indeed. And it felt so fuckin’ real when two years later—like an old friend who had been lost for a while, the darkness came saying hello again. She arrived in a haunted place where darkness seemed darker. When no one shouted at her, just scary voices all over. She needed a supporter, not an asshole who turned a dreamer into a loser.

This was a chapter when everyone who supposedly a supporter became an aggressor. She wanted to dedicate her life as an author, at least for the moment, trapped in a small room where she turned her imagination into something real was a form of happiness. Yet no onenot a single one was giving her enough time. Instead, they were pushing her into a big big hole consisting of thousands of people living the same way that they called ‘a proper place.’

No power. No supporter. Just need a savior.

Give up.

Weeping every night for the things she never dreamt of, she was upon the ‘proper place’ as they called. Sprawled on the rock, incapacitated, yet they clapped her for the things she wasn’t fond of. Ironical, as she called.

Hence, she began to wonder for her perspective on life. Ironical it is—the world.




Init?





-Lista R

Monday, 21 May 2018

Don't Go Away

Illustration by @oztheartist

You’re medication for my broken heart
A story of laughter and despair at once
I accept both without a single doubt
Since the day I knew you’re the rain for my drought.

Scared was I in one dreadful night!
When the storm stroked inflicting fright
Swiftly dragged me to one terrific reflection:
Either you will be gone—with or without reason.

I would have kept your name in my pray
For I’ve fallen too hard.
Rarely have I given my whole heart.
At this point, just please don't go away!


Writer: Lista R
Illustrator: Ozzy (@oztheartist)